To Do or What Not to Do, That is the Question.

With this journey, People come out of the woodwork wanting to know my secret, how am I doing it, what am I doing, what am I eating, etc. There are those that want you to basically write down an exact plan for them to follow so they will know exactly what to do and will lose weight too. But a lot of times, they don’t want to put the effort in. I can tell you what I do, but unless you are willing to put the work and effort in, then it’s not going to work.
And I’m probably not the person to ask about a plan. I stink at plans and structure when it comes to weightloss. For instance, right after I bought my kettlebell, I wrote out a workout schedule of what I was going to do every day. I stuck to that exact schedule exactly a week. Haha. I still workout, just don’t stick to a certain schedule besides Turbokick.
But there are some people that benefit from things like that: workout schedules, eating plans, meal prep, etc. I’m just not that person. So my best advice is find out what works best for you. If you need a strict schedule and meal plan, then take the time to sit down and write it down. But make it reasonable. Do not set your schedules and goals up to make you fail. Make sure it’s obtainable, something you can do, and it’s not unrealistic.
The next question I get is do I count calories? Yes and no. I recommend anyone just starting out to count calories and write down everything you eat. People like me who tend to deny their weight or what they eat, it’s a wake up call to count calories and write everything down. It makes you more aware of what you are putting in your body. A couple of years ago, I did a week of counting calories and I wrote down every bite I took. You know, those bites as you’re cooking and you taste something, or those bites off your kids plates while cleaning up the table, etc. I wrote it all down, and I realized that while my meals and planned snacks were pretty good, I did a lot of grazing and eating bites here and there I never thought about. They add up.
Right now, I don’t specifically count calories every day. But I am conscious of them. I tend to be a creature of habit, so I eat the same breakfast at least 4 days a week. So I mentally know how many calories it is. Same with lunch. And I drink protein shakes to up my calories and I know how many calories is in each shake. So while I may not log all my food and calories, I am still aware. Or if there are days I am really busy, and at some point feel really hungry, I will quick add my calories. Most of the time I find out I haven’t had near enough.
And there are really good, easy apps that help with calories and things. Two that I know work well are myfitnesspal and loseit. Another website that my Turbokick instructor and several of our ladies use is http://www.iifym.com. It has a lot of good info, and there’s a calculator where you can count macros. I know a lot of people use this and have seen benefits, it tells you how much protein, carbs, fats, etc you need every day.
It’s hard for me because I discovered I wasn’t eating enough calories several weeks ago. And to tell your head, you have to eat more to lose weight is a hard thing. I fight it every day. And it’s a process. Some days I still don’t get enough, and some days I may get too much. It’s a learning process.
One thing I can say is educate yourself. I have done a lot of research on eating and exercising. I do workouts I love, like Turbokick. I eat foods I like, but that are still good for me. It’s sort if like a game to me to see a recipe I like, and then see how to make it healthy. I’m always reading, researching, and finding new ideas. You have to make it work for you. You have to be proactive and learn to do what your body needs. No one can do it for you.
Another thing is, there will be a day or meal or weekend along the way, that you will get off track. Your plan will go out the window. Whether it’s Christmas, a birthday, or vacation. What you have to realize is, it’s one day or just a couple of days in your life. One meal will not make you fat. It’s one day or one weekend. But you decide how you get back on track. There are 365 days in a year. If you get off track a couple of times, what’s two or three days, compared to the other 362 days? This is where you have to move forward and not let one day or choice dictate your future.
If you want it, you can do it. You have to decide to do it and put the work in. On my weakest days, I pray that God will lead me and guide me. On my strongest days, I thank God for leading me and I pray He will continue. I know this has been a lot of rambling. I guess my point is I can’t tell you exactly what to do. I am still finding my way. But you have to research and find what works for you and then stick with it.

A big ole can of biscuits about to pop

First let me say, thanks for the feedback on my last blog. I express myself in writing so much better, but it’s still scary.
I have been overweight my entire life. In second grade, they were weighing and measuring us for our school records. One teacher would weigh us, then call out our weight across the room to the teacher writing it down. Which wasn’t a problem until it was my turn. She called out my weight and everyone laughed. I don’t remember the number, but I know it was a lot more than every one else’s.
Over the years, my weight is something I have learned to hide behind. As a kid, you get laughed at and made fun of. And I had my fair share of it, but all in all, I was friends with everyone, tried to stay in control of situations and acted like the weight didn’t matter. As an adult, and being this weight, people look at you but don’t really see you. They look the other way, they move across the aisle, they don’t look you in the eye. And for the most part, I was ok with that. I hid behind my weight. I was comfortable there. I could go unnoticed, really. I don’t like being in the spotlight or put on the spot. It terrifies me. I hate surprises because I don’t feel in control. If I can control the situation, than I can control what I can and can’t do. But that’s not life. And even though it was my comfort zone, I have been anything but comfortable.
As I have been going through this process, I have learned that your mind and body can play tricks on you, can affect the way you feel and see yourself. Not gonna lie, I’ve had a hard week. Monday I had no energy at all. My body was tired. It was raining, and I did what the old Kim would do. I curled up on the couch and did nothing. I felt fat, and just yucky. Hence the title of this blog. I felt like a big ole can of biscuits waiting to pop.
Now, I have said, I have lost 24 pounds. But being my size, that’s like a drop in the bucket. So I’m far from skinny, or being healthy, but it’s progress. But Monday my mind was telling me something totally different. It was saying, “You haven’t done a lot, 24 pounds is nothing, you have so far to go, look at you, you can’t do this.” Now I am a strong person but my worst enemy. I felt defeated.
That’s when a God intervened. As I was picking Hannah up from school, someone stuck their head in my vehicle and said, “I am so proud of you. You are such a beautiful person. I know it’s hard but you keep going, you can do it.” I almost cried, and at the same time said, “Thank you God.”
If you follow me on Instagram, it’s pics of my meals, protein shakes, workouts, etc. Sunday, someone I don’t know, started following me, and left me a message that I was an inspiration. Again, I wanted to cry. I’m just living day to day, trying to make healthy choices and for once be good to my body, but it’s helping others.
I feel like God is kind of showing me my purpose. It’s very hard for me to just take care of me and do this for me. Not gonna lie. But to know others are watching, and waiting, seeing my ups and down, cheering me on, it’s gives me focus. If all of this helps one person, and gets me healthy in the process, then isn’t that what life is about?
I am learning to love me now, even if it’s a canned biscuit kind of day. Because If I can’t love me now, then no matter how much I lose, I won’t love me then. This is way more than a number on a scale. And I also admit, I don’t take compliments well. I just don’t. But I’m starting to look at them as kind of a thumbs up from God. A sign to keep going.
And tomorrow is weigh in day for me. And I will go ahead and say, not expecting a lot from the scale. But it’s ok, because I have learned a lot about me this week, and no matter what the scale says, tomorrow is another day. It’s my choice whether I make healthy choices or not. It’s all a choice. If you sit down and do nothing, then that’s what you have chosen. I choose to keep going forward, to keep making healthy choices, and continue on this journey.

Proverbs 3:5-6

It’s a journey, a process, but not a race.

If you follow me on Facebook or Instagram, you’ve already seen post after post about my weight loss journey. At this point I have lost 24 pounds. It’s hard for me not to add the word “only” in there. But I am proud of every pound. But yes I am hard on myself at times, and don’t give myself enough credit.
People ask me what my “secret” is to losing weight, to staying motivated, to having willpower. I hate to disappoint, but there is no secret. There are lots of prayers, lots of talking to God, lots of hard work, lots of planning, and figuring out what works for me.
I am not on a diet. This is not something I can or will get off of. You’ve all heard it before, but it’s definitely a lifestyle change. It’s not about eating very little food I don’t like and doing exercises I hate. I eat “real” food and lots of it and I have found workouts I like to do.
For me, it’s about being healthy. Yes the scale is a big part of it, but also how I feel, the way my clothes fit, my energy level, is all driving forces. If I told you my starting weight, some of you wouldn’t be able to close your mouth. You might would even fall off your seat. And 24 pounds down, compared to that number is not a lot. I will be the first to say it. But with those 24 pounds less, comes more energy, finding foods I enjoy to eat that are good for my body, and clothes that fit better and that I feel better in.
I think people carry around extra weight for a lot of different reasons. And for me, it’s about figuring that stuff out and changing me from the inside out. If I don’t work on the inside, my way of thinking and my relationship to food, then it will be a losing battle. Because I would have never fixed the real problem. I’m planning on doing several blogs about all of this, such as food addiction, what I eat, how I push through body pain, what keeps me going, etc. Let me know if there’s anything you would like for me to include, talk about, or blog about. I am open to putting myself out there to help others, to motivate others, and to keep others accountable. I just started on this journey and I am excited to see what’s next, what the future holds. And I’m not gonna lie, I know there will be ups and downs, emotionally, physically, and weight wise. But I am not giving up. I am not stopping.
You may ask how this time is different than all the other times I have started and stopped. Because this time I want it, I want it for me. I am excited about it, and I am making changes I can continue with day after day. I am loving me now so I can also love me later. I may not have taken care of this body in the past, but God still loves me and I’m still here so I changing this body, this head and the inside. Follow me on this journey.