Weekends are part of the week too

Mondays are the hardest for me. It’s confession time. Weekends have gone from a “cheat” meal to a “cheat” day, to now “cheat” weekends. I don’t really like the word cheat but lately that’s what it feels like.  I am a firm believer in moderation and not obsessing over food, calories and such. But I believe that can only happen when you can control it. Let’s be honest. If you buy a pack of cookies on your cheat day and you eat the entire pack, that is not moderation. And no, I haven’t eaten an entire pack of cookies but on weekends I tend to be more relaxed and feel myself eating more and more. Not for a meal or a day but an entire weekend.  So then Mondays roll around. And I feel like poo. I’m sluggish, unmotivated, tired, have a yucky tummy etc. I would compare it to someone going on an alcohol bender the entire weekend. Mondays they are tired, have a headache, food seems yucky, etc. I hide things I am eating, I sneak food or I brush it off because it’s my cheat day.
     This is not ok. I am self sabotaging myself. And I work my butt off all week to see a loss on the scale. If I just applied everything to the weekend too, the number would be flying down. I have said it before but I am a food addict. It’s not just that food is good to me. I think about it all the time. Things that shouldn’t, revolve around food. I can stuff my face on a binge and never really taste the food. I can eat food and never remember it.  The difference between an alcoholic and a food addict is you don’t have to have alcohol to live. You can go the rest of your life and not step into a bar or a liquor store. But you have to have food to live. So changing my relationship with food is a big part of this process. And always being honest with myself and all of you.
     So those are the things I am currently working on. I am 29 pounds down so far. But I want more. I deserve more. I can do more. People think it’s as simple as eating right and exercising. And yes for some it is as cut and dry as that. But not for me. It’s as much mental as anything. It’s as much as figuring out what works for me, what my internal dialog is and changing my perception of me. I still love food and it’s fun finding things that are healthy but still taste good and look good. Things that satisfy me, get me full and get me excited about eating it.
     And I’ve already told y’all about workouts.  I love turbokick. I love Biggest Loser dvds. I like Zumba for the wii. I like kettlebells. No one wants to spend the rest of their lives doing workouts they hate.  Get moving, find food you like that is healthy,  workouts you love and do it. No one can do this for me. No one can make me do it or want to do it. I have to do it. The way I am doing it is not the fastest way but it’s the way I can live day to day with. It’s now my lifestyle that I am still working to improve. I’m planning another blog later this week about my mindset on workouts and things, my motivation, etc.

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